#18: Jilly’s spontaneous, trauma-free, instrumental hospital birth story…
Intense situations don’t always lead to traumatic birth stories: as Jilly’s incredible birth story proves, managing a stressful and risky situation can feel just as positive as a waterbirth.
Trigger warnings: please note that while this is a very positive birth story, it does discuss contractions, meconium, forceps, short cords, postpartum haemorrhage and perineal tearing.
Before we get to birth, let’s start at the beginning. How was your pregnancy?
It was a textbook, easy pregnancy. Loved it! I had slight PGP which kicked in early second trimester but just had to adapt to be able to exercise.
And, before the event, how did you feel about giving birth?
I became really scared about birth and began thinking I wasn’t going to survive it. Initially, I was down to have a home birth but the hospital suspended them* due to ambulance strikes and so we were going to be in the hospital.
Learning Point: it is your human right to decide where you give birth and it is also your human right to be medically supported if you wish. However, while hospitals are expected to offer and run a homebirth service, this is not written into law. The law does say that your ability to choose where to give birth should only be restricted when there is a good reason to do so. This means that a hospital cannot withdraw a homebirth service for no reason, but should it be unsafe to run one (eg: when there is no ambulance back-up) they can.
Then the big day arrives. How did it feel when you realised your baby was on their way earthside?
I was four days overdue and was becoming very frustrated. I remember saying to my husband before bed that I just wish there was a sign it was imminent. Then, I popped to the loo before bed and there they went, my waters 😅
So, how was your birth experience?
My waters broke at 10pm on Wednesday 8th when I went for a wee, and it was immediately apparent that there was meconium in the water. We called the midwife and they told us to come in so we spent half an hour very calmly getting everything together as I was getting a bit panicky and just scared with the impending labour.
My contractions began in the car, so pretty much straight away. We got to the ward at 23:00 and I was already in established labour.. They told me straight away that due to the amount of meconium in my waters, my lovely water birth was out of the question, which really threw me as that’s where I anticipated getting the most pain relief. I’d also spent every day of trimester 2 and 3 swimming which really relaxed me.
They hooked me up to check in with baby’s heart rate and my contractions to check baby wasn’t in distress, which he wasn’t. I had my TENS machine on at this point which gave massive relief and I was allowed to be walking around mobilising while hooked up to monitor.
The doctor came to see me and she explained that due to the amount of meconium, they needed to get the baby out within 12 hours as there is a risk of pneumonia if they swallow it. The plan was to allow me to labour unaided for 4 hours to but told me I’d likely need to be put on the hormone drip to ensure he was born within the 12 hours window. I accepted examinations as I knew time was a little against me. I was 2cm upon admission and the next time I was 5cm after the 4 hours, so they were happy not to put me on a hormone drip. I then started using the gas and the air but I was struggling with the pain and the frequency as I was progressing very fast.
The midwife with us on labour ward was absolutely amazing. She and Nick set the room up exactly as I wanted with all the lights dimmed, fairy lights, my positive affirmations on the wall, and we had our labour playlist on our speakers. Nick and I played cards for a while but I was finding the contractions very hard to breathe through. The ‘traffic light’ system worked wonders here, or rather my husband did wonders at ensuring I didn’t enter the ‘red’.
I decided to accept an epidural at this point as the contractions were coming thick and fast and I knew the epidural procedure took 15 mins to set up, then a further 15 to kick in. Having it set up was a bit uncomfortable as you have to sit bolt upright and very still which is tricky when you’re having 4 contractions every 10 minutes, but the procedure itself was pain free. They stop every time you contract but again, just not the ideal positioning.
My epidural kicked in quickly and it was such a relief. I still had ability to wee and walk around at first, but I did fall off the loo when I went to stand up and walloped my knees! I had it topped up after an hour and at this point I was unable to empty my bladder and so I had a catheter which was a relief too as I knew having a full bladder can delay labour. I was positioned on my side with a peanut ball* between my ankles for optimising hip position.
We carried on labouring for two more hours and then I suddenly became really uncomfortable. I was relying on gas and air in addition to the epidural and I couldn’t speak in between contractions. My body was trying to push but the midwife told me I wouldnt be ready at this point as I was only 5cm on the last examination. The doctor was called and examined me - I’d gone from 5cm to 10cm in 2 hours and I was in transition. I found this stage very empowering but Nick found it really hard to watch. I was completely out of body, which I found amazing! All I could hear was Nick’s voice and he was just amazing.
Because I’d progressed so quickly and baby wasn’t in distress, they wanted to give me an hour to rest before pushing. The epidural was topped up and Nick and I were left to prepare to meet our baby, with just one midwife very quietly on hand if needed. I was told my midwife, Anya, was going to make it for the pushing phase which mentally helped me as there were a lot of different people getting involved and I wanted to see a familiar face.
Our ‘relaxing’ hour came to an end but Anya hadn’t arrived yet. They told me we were going to start pushing and that she’d make it for the end. My pushing stage began but it became apparent very quickly that baby wasn’t coping with the contractions*.
The doctor was called and said baby needed to come within 10 minutes. She then told me she was going to have to get her forceps but she was deliberately going to be very slow, to give me a chance to push naturally. I had three midwives with me at this point and they were just amazing. My doctor came back and told me I was going to have to have an episiotomy due to the forceps but now we really needed to get baby out. So I gave birth, lying on my back, in stirrups - everything I wanted to avoid really!
Anyway, my boy was born and it turned out the reason he became so distressed was because the umbilical cord was too short and, as I had a high anterior placenta, he was just getting pulled back up after each contraction.
He was placed straight onto my tummy (cord wouldn’t allow him to be put on my chest). Nick was the one to tell me he was a boy which was magical. We opted for delayed cord clamping but I haemorrhaged (they knew I was a high risk and had the medicines to deal with this in the room) and so Nick cut the cord after a couple of minutes and he was put on my chest while they stitched me up and worked on my new designer vagina.
It may sound like a traumatic birth but I found it so positive and empowering due to the staff, and Nick. I have no trauma, despite the fact it was everything I wanted to avoid. My midwife made it for the last 5 minutes and she was there checking I understood what was happening and why they were doing what they were doing.
I cannot wait to give birth again; it’s addictive! The hypnobirthing helped me be more open to other birthing preferences as the baby will be born how it needs to be born.
Glossary: a peanut ball is a peanut shaped inflatable that is used to support people into different positions during labour, particularly when they need to rest or when they have had an epidural. Have a look at them and what they can do here.
Thinking Point: babies heartrates are monitored during labour - when they show signs of stress or distress, midwives and obstetricians can see this in their heartrates. How would you feel about being told this during labour? Would this raise a slight concern or trigger a full on panic? Thinking about this and communicating this with your partner will help them to support you through that emotion should this be a situation you face.
Do you remember what you said to your baby when you first met them?
We kept the gender a surprise, but we had a name set either way so, when mu husband told me it was a boy, I said ‘Hello Tobias’.
Looking back, what was the best part of your birth experience?
When my body just took over. It was so incredible!
And on the flip side, if you could, what would you have changed about the way your baby entered the world?
I wouldn’t change a thing.
If you could give parents-to-be one piece of advice about preparing for the birth of their baby, what would it be?
Be open-minded and informed over every avenue that birth can take. Knowledge is power!
