#13: Sarah’s powerful, calm & confident hospital waterbirth…
Birth happens best when we relax: as Sarah’s beautiful birth story shows, having our responsibilities taken care off can be the switch that allows our bodies to go into a powerful labour space.
Trigger warnings: please note that this birth story discusses a baby with the cord wrapped around their neck.
Before we get to birth, let’s start at the beginning. How was your pregnancy?
I was very tired throughout my pregnancy as I already had a 2 year old to run around after. But in many ways it was easier than my first - this baby didn't give me any scares about movements like his brother, grew perfectly on his curve, no anatomical concerns. And arrived at 40w+1d!
And, before the event, how did you feel about giving birth?
I was excited to experience it again, after a lovely birth with my first. I was also curious to see how different or similar it would be! My first came at 38+6 so after that point, with a baby I could feel was bigger (a whole pound and a half bigger at birth in fact) I was pretty exhausted by the end! Every day past when I'd had my first felt very long.
Then the big day arrives. How did it feel when you realised your baby was on their way earthside?
On my EDD (estimated due date) I was taking my eldest to the Dr to be checked for an ear infection, and was feeling some twinges which I'd been ignoring. I'd had 'irritable uterus' and digestive issues for weeks, and started getting frustrated with it never being the start of labour. The doctor’s receptionist joked when I said today was my due date 'oo hopefully not here!'. Things kept going but didn't ramp up until the evening when my 2yo was in bed - my body seemed to know I was freer now* and it all kicked off! A lot of my feelings were lost in just focus on making sure my eldest was ok.
Think about it… what responsibilities do you have in your life that may stop you from fully relaxing into the labour zone? In order for your body to labour, it needs to feel safe and settled. Making sure any responsibilities you have are well cared for - be that children, pets or work - will help your brain to let go and labour smoothly.
So, how was your birth experience?
My husband came down from doing toddler bedtime and I let him know what was happening. Given the weeks of come-again-go-again feelings we agreed to take it easy and just see how things progressed. Around ten o'clock I felt this was probably the real deal, and I knew I'd want to be well rested, so headed up to bed to try and get some sleep before things really ramped up. However the surges were already intense enough I couldn't sleep through them, and lying down was making me less comfortable. Eventually I got up again and decided to speak to labour ward just to reassure myself of the plan. We agreed I'd continue to labour at home and have some paracetamol and a bath, and call again when needed.
My husband went to bed around this time to make sure he got a bit of sleep, and I relaxed in the bath with some lavender oils on my wrists and my candles flickering. I wanted something familiar to focus on between surges, so I watched Black Panther! By half past one I'd made my way downstairs again to bounce on my ball and was no longer able to focus on the film between times, so decided it was time to wake my husband as I wanted his support.
We called labour ward and said we'd be making our way in, and asked my mother-in-law to come round and care for our eldest boy. I'd been really anxious about how we'd handle leaving him, but while my husband got everything ready the 2yo actually stirred and my MIL went in to soothe him, which went easily and completely calmed my worries and let me trust that he would be fine.
We got into the car and made our way to hospital, listening to Vivaldi's four seasons and chatting. I was also messaging my sister at this time, who was telling me funny stories which really kept me feeling positive. I felt very held and supported by my loved ones. It took me a little while to find a semi-comfortable position in the car, but eventually I settled on sitting quite upright and leaning my weight onto the handle above the door during a surge while I did my breathing. I found it really helpful at this stage to vocalise a bit with each surge. Every time I thought to myself, one closer to meeting my baby.
We arrived at hospital around 3.30am and parked up. While my husband tried to pay, I paced and leaned on the car during surges, enjoying the fresh night air and feeling happy and full of anticipation. We got onto labour ward and were tucked into a room where we met our first midwife, who shared a name with my sister which reassured me for some reason! She got us settled and did my obs, offering me an exam if I wanted it. I was really impressed by the midwifery team at Salisbury, who at every turn were very clear about seeking my informed consent - giving me information and making it clear that it was always my choice.
I accepted an exam as I wanted a sense of what stage we were at, in many ways out of curiosity to compare to my first labour. I was dilated 1cm, so we settled in to let things continue. We also let them know we'd like the pool, and were told both were currently in use but I'd be next in if they came available in time. My surges had been a regular 3/4 minutes apart in the car but then slowed down to 7-9 minutes when we arrived. I listened to music and got comfy on the bed, using my pillow to support myself. I had some paracetamol and codeine which I believe allowed me to rest a little more at this stage. This time is a bit of a blur, as I was very 'in the zone'.
At some stage things got more intense and I asked for a birthing ball, and sat on this leaning forwards over the edge of the bed. I dozed between surges and felt a bit rested, but also noticed they weren't as strong/ frequent, so after a while I got up to walk around. This immediately resulted in more and stronger surges - gravity made all the difference! At this stage my waters still hadn't gone, and I was feeling the pressure of them bulging with each surge, and felt it was also partly slowing things down. Some time later we spoke to the midwife again and moved down to the pool room which had come free. Walking in there was a massive rush of oxytocin - it was the same room where I had delivered my first son. That had been such a positive experience that although I was feeling tired, it really boosted my mood to have that happy memory reinforced in such a tangible way.
The pool was running and we had a new midwife who told us she'd be with us for an hour until shift change at 8.10am. I asked for another exam as I was so uncertain of my progress. She found me to be 8-9cm but said my cervix was very stretchy and she could feel baby's whole head, and that as I'd thought there was a very bulging cushion of waters* that he was resting on. I swayed and paced while the pool filled, and listened to the birds as the sun came up fully. It was a lovely tranquil time. It was around then we realised we could probably stop timing my surges - I was definitely in labour!
Getting into the pool was just as good a feeling as I remembered. My muscles relaxed as the warmth soothed them and the water took my weight, and my senses filled up with calm. I settled against the edge of the pool with my husband on a birth ball facing me and holding my hands. Surges did tail off a little at this point, but we spent time chatting to each other and the midwife. I was full of happy anticipation to meet our baby. I was now feeling the urge to bear down, but not very strongly. I tried to listen to my body's cues. My little boy had been very wriggly the whole pregnancy, rarely going quiet for more than 30/40 minutes at a time, and labour was no exception - after every surge he gave a little stretch and a kick, letting me know he was ok.
At shift change our final midwives came in, including a student who we'd seen with our first and I'd seen in the community with this pregnancy. It was so lovely to see a familiar face! At this point things started to feel more intense, and I was more tired, having not really slept all night. In between surges instead of chatting I rested against the side of the pool/ my husband and felt very dozy. Each surge started to feel very intense, and very long. Time seemed to slow down and my tiredness made me a bit less resilient to the strength of the surges. Mostly I struggled with not feeling like I was making progress with each one - that still intact cushion of waters was making it hard for me to feel baby moving down, even though he was.
My husband encouraged me, especially when the midwife listened with the sonic aid to look at where she placed it and see just how low he was. This was when I struggled most. I was falling asleep against the side between surges and feeling a loss of control during them due to the pain. As my legs were tired I briefly tried sitting on my bum leaning back, instead of leaning on the side, but found it even harder to push in that position. Eventually though at 9.19am what I'd been hoping for happened - my waters broke with a big pop, and suddenly everything was easier. I could feel him moving down, and that gave me the motivation to really focus on breathing my baby down. Soon I felt the 'ring of fire' and prayed each time that we were really making progress.
Before long - although it felt an eternity! - he was crowning, and I was able to feel his head emerging as he crowned. I panted and panted as his head was born. I was so in awe of the feeling and encouraged I kept my hand there, but was reminded by the midwife not to stimulate him too much as we didn't want him to take a breath yet! I dug deep to focus on my breathing and on the fact we were nearly there while waiting for the next surge, and with that he was born into my arms. I brought him to my chest, and the midwives helped untangle the cord from his neck (no wonder with all that wriggling). He cried and stirred straight away, and instantly all the intensity and overwhelm I'd been feeling melted away in a haze of joy. Here he was, and he was perfect!
I brought him to the breast immediately and after a minute he had his first feed, latching on beautifully. After breastfeeding his older brother for 2 and some years I felt so much more confident about this, and so relieved he took to it easily rather than the struggle we'd had before. We had delayed clamping and I was able to cut the cord myself, although with shaking hands!
We were waiting a while for the placenta, which took nearly an hour to be delivered, but came eventually with a bit of help from the midwives. I was cleaned up and examined, which was very uncomfortable, but found I had only grazes and didn't need any stitches. During all of this, I had lovely skin to skin cuddles with my baby, wrapped up in lovely well-warmed towels. Initially I felt less positive about my second birth experience than my first. Because in the last stages I felt some fear that I wasn't strong enough, that I wasn't progressing, that I wasn't keeping calm and in control enough. What I have to return to is the fact that my body knew what it was doing, and birthed my baby safely and in its own time. My own tiredness and that cushion of waters were factors I couldn't have predicted which made me feel less in control.
But I *did* control my birth. In those last surges where I knew he was coming I was able to put my energy where I needed it, even while I felt scared and overwhelmed. While it wasn't exactly what I imagined, I am coming to terms with knowing that even when I didn't feel capable, I was. I think before my second birth I had relied more than I realised on my own mythology of how my first birth went, and when things were different - such as the very late breaking of waters - it threw me more than I could've anticipated. While it felt less positive in the moment, with reflection and time to process I'm coming to feel happy with the experience again.
For a while I felt I had failed by getting scared, but slowly I'm reframing and reminding myself I'm only human, and the fact I birthed my baby even when I felt incapable is a hugely positive thing.
Learning point: bulging waters are when a small section of the amniotic sac is being pushed through the cervix slightly before they have broken. Research suggests that (unless they’re ruptured by a midwife or doctor, or there’s infection present), waters will naturally break when the body is ready for them to go. Bulging waters like this are thought to help stretch and dilate the cervix slowly & while ‘popping’ them manually may speed labour up, in the long run letting them stay may possibly help your labour to go more smoothly overall.
Do you remember what you said to your baby when you first met them?
'Hello my love!'
Looking back, what was the best part of your birth experience?
Delayed cord clamping and the golden hour of him skin-to-skin with me with no interruptions at all.
Glossary: delayed cord clamping is when the umbilical cord is left un-clamped and un-cut after birth to allow of the baby’s blood to transfer from the placenta into their body. Typically delayed clamping happens up to 5 minutes after birth (the cord will have started to change shape and will be pulsing less), but leaving it for longer will allow all the blood to transfer. There is no time limit on this, instead we look for colour: all white with no pulsing.
And on the flip side, if you could, what would you have changed about the way your baby entered the world?
I might wish my waters had gone earlier but I don't think I'd change any of the choices I made.
If you could give parents-to-be one piece of advice about preparing for the birth of their baby, what would it be?
Be a team with your partner. Talk before so you're on the same page and they can advocate for you.
