#10: Sarah’s calm, confident and supported hospital waterbirth…
A calm birth experience looks different for everyone: as Sarah's beautiful birth story shows, having the tools to keep you calm, even when things get a little bumpy, is what makes the difference.
Trigger warnings: please note that this birth story discusses delayed breathing & perineal trauma.
Before we get to birth, let’s start at the beginning. How was your pregnancy?
I really enjoyed being pregnant and feeling my growing bond with baby. At the 20 week scan, Baba had fluid around their heart, so we had some extra scans. This resolved by 28 weeks but due to growth concerns and then oligohydramnios*, we had scans every 2-3 weeks until the end of my pregnancy. I remember realising after the 20wk scan that this anxiety I suddenly felt was lifelong - this was parenthood, worrying about my child!
Glossary: oligohydramnios is when you have low levels of amniotic fluid in your uterus. A diagnosis of oligohydramnios will likely come with a recommendation for more monitoring during pregnancy and birth as this fluid is very important for your baby’s growth and health.
And, before the event, how did you feel about giving birth?
I was excited to experience childbirth and wanted as much information as possible. I did an online hypnobirthing course which I found so helpful. Having done CBT for anxiety before, hypnobirthing was a very similar approach to mindset about birth!
Then the big day arrives. How did it feel when you realised your baby was on their way earthside?
I started having period-like cramps on a Friday evening at 38 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I'd been resting on bed and noticed a dripping, so put in a pad and went to bed to get some sleep. I slept 7pm-7am! I felt so calm and excited, and just ready to meet my baby. I woke up with stronger contractions and knew it was the real deal.
So, how was your birth experience?
We were unsure whether the trickles I'd been having overnight might be my waters, so by 9am we decided to call the labour ward who recommended we go in to day assessment to get checked over.
Before going in we had to pop into my husband's work. We ended up having a lovely calm wander around town as well, even popping into Costa to get a hot chocolate! My husband had to answer when asked if I wanted chocolate sprinkles, as I was in the middle of a strong surge.
In day assessment I was examined and monitored, and it was determined that my waters hadn't broken, although I was certainly having surges. So, home we went to wait for things to ramp up. Back in our own living room, we set about making as calm a space as we could. I was set up with lots of cushions on the sofa and a chair in front of me with pillows to lean on and use up breathing through each surge. We got settled and watched several episodes of QI!
Around this time my husband took over timing the surges with my apps as when each one began, I just needed to focus my energy on breathing and relaxing, allowing my body to do what it needed to. We rang labour ward once for some reassurance and I had a bath, which didn't help much as there was no hot water. Husband took this chance to have something to eat. He did bring me few chips but I couldn't stand the smell!
By 7.30 pm, he persuaded me that it was time to make our way into the hospital, since we live a fifty minute drive away. We informed labour ward and kept things calm, listening to Vivaldi's Four Seasons. When we arrived we got settled in a room and had a chat with the lovely midwife; my husband gave her our birth preferences which she read and was wonderful at implementing, without any discussion or fuss.
An examination found I was fully effaced and 2 cm dilated. Since we hadn't yet reached the magic 4cm we were told we had the option of staying or of going home again for a while. At this point the surges were strong and intense, needing all of my focus and energy to breathe through and I did not want to get back in the car at all! The ward knew we wanted a water birth, so the pool room had been marked for me, but we stayed in our little side room for the next couple of hours, from 9.30 to 11.30, listening to Vivaldi and using hypnobirthing up breathing. During this stage I found affirmations especially helpful - my favourites were reminding myself that each surge brought me closer to meeting my baby, and remembering that the surge could not be stronger than me because it was my body producing it.
I was starting to struggle a little as the hours went by, simply because my muscles were so tired. I kept trying different positions for surges to try and figure out what worked best, wanting to stay upright, forward and open, but the exhaustion meant I was finding it very hard not to tense up everywhere with each surge. I ended up on my side on the bed, which is where I was when my waters went with an enormous gush. This was also when my plug went. Getting cleaned up was the only moment in the whole process when I swore at my husband!
Not too long later, with each surge I was starting to feel a strong urge to bear down. It had only been three hours since we got to the hospital, and only two since I was examined at 2cm - I was sure it couldn't yet be time, that perhaps the baby had turned around and was putting pressure in the wrong place. We called the midwife back who took one look at me and told me to go with my instincts - if my body wanted to push, I should let it. We moved to the pool room, pausing several times along the corridor for strong surges. I asked for an examination and was confirmed to be 10cm!
Getting into the pool was such a relief, the water helped enormously with the tension I'd been feeling. My body took over and I felt enormous pressure bearing down. I kept breathing and letting my instincts work, and my midwife encouraged me that baby was moving down. Around this time I went into a bit of a dreamy haze and just became very focussed. By about 1am I started feeling the 'ring of fire' and knew baby was crowning. My husband was brilliant at talking me through it and soon the head was born. After a short break between surges another one came and I caught my little love and swam him up into my arms. He was born at 1.18am.
After a first wriggle baby was still and hadn't breathed, so the now two midwives in the room quickly cut the cord and whisked babe away, with dad following. No resuscitation was needed though - once put on the table there came a strong cry which I could hear from the pool! Daddy brought our little one back in wrapped in a towel and told me we had a little boy!
The day before I'd been having a wobble about our choice of name but when I looked at his face I knew - he was Levi. I got out of the pool carefully, and lay on a low couch with my little boy on my chest while we waited for the placenta to come, which it did after about 40 minutes and some tummy massage. It was enormous! I was fascinated as the midwife showed us how it all worked. The cord was incredibly long as well!
Daddy and Levi had cuddles while I was examined and I was told I'd torn my labia, and had 5 interrupted stitches. This was the only time I used the gas and air! For some reason I was happy to watch baby with dad but a lovely experienced midwife encouraged me to get little one to the breast as she could see he was getting sleepy*. The oxytocin from snuggling him and trying to breastfeed for the first time was amazing. We spent a few hours together in the delivery room where I had that amazing first cup of tea and a piece of toast. Only husband's parents knew that we'd gone to hospital, so we got to hug the news just to ourselves for a few hours. By 5am we moved to postnatal and got cosy in a private room. The whole thing was a beautiful experience which I feel lucky to have had.
Learning point: sleepy babies aren’t always a good thing! In the uterus, babies are fed constantly via the umbilical cord: when they’re born, they have to signal to their carer that they need feeding. This takes energy in itself. Babies tummies are little and digest milk quickly, which is why they need to feel little and often. If they go too long between feeds, they can lack the energy to ask for a feed and sleep instead. Waking newborns for a feed - particularly in the first few weeks of life - isn’t mean; it’s essential to make sure they get the nutrition they need.
Do you remember what you said to your baby when you first met them?
I don't remember what I said straight away!
I do remember saying to my husband, "Oh, he's a Levi!' as I'd been having a little wobble about our chosen name, but once I saw him the name just fit.
Looking back, what was the best part of your birth experience?
How powerful I felt, and how confident I was in my own body - which I'd not often felt before.
And on the flip side, if you could, what would you have changed about the way your baby entered the world?
No. I wouldn't change a thing!
If you could give parents-to-be one piece of advice about preparing for the birth of their baby, what would it be?
You are each others team, and it's really helpful to have talked about all the possibilities before. You two being on the same page really helps.
Think about it: birth is unpredictable and often decisions are made during labour. But a labouring brain is not a thinking brain; when it’s required to think, labour is affected. Having conversations about what both you and your birth partner want, fear, are hoping for and want to avoid at all costs means that they can advocate confidently for you. This is best done before you into labour so you can feel confident in your choice, and that you’re confident your partner will support you on the day.
