#9: Francesca’s painless, powerful & perfect homebirth…
Giving birth has a reputation for being medical, painful and scary; as Francesca's painless, powerful and perfect homebirth shows it doesn't have to be either. Armed with knowledge from her first baby, and trust in her body, she birthed like a Godess.
Trigger warnings: please note that this birth story discusses homebirth and a quick delivery.
Before we get to birth, let’s start at the beginning. How was your pregnancy?
Both of my pregnancies were similar: I never had morning sickness (thank God!) and I stayed as active as possible.
With my first, I was still outdoor rock climbing, cycling, going down water slides, and playing squash until I was 7 months pregnant. I slowed down a bit with this one (my second) mostly because of having to follow my first kid around! But I managed to get in a caving trip and did a lot of walking until the hip pain kicked in around 7 months.
I generally just felt really healthy and happy.
And, before the event, how did you feel about giving birth?
I was bloody terrified the first time round, but then I did an NCT class (and scoffed at the idea of giving birth on just 2 paracetamol!) and watched a ton of Positive Birth Company YouTube videos, as well as watching positive home birth videos and reading positive birth stories. I was in a much better head space and ready for anything when the time came.
With my second this all continued and I couldn't wait to give birth again. I was so excited and impatient! I planned for home births both times, so the house was all prepped and the pool ready to go.
Then the big day arrives. How did it feel when you realised your baby was on their way earthside?
With my first baby, I actually didn't realise I was in full labour until my waters broke with a massive gush, in the van on the way to hospital to check up for reduced movement. Turns out the reduced movement was because he was nearly out!
The second time, I knew straight away - it was the same lower back surges and timings. I gleefully called my birth partners (auntie, and doula friend) sent the hubs to fill the pool, and got myself in the zone. Full on concentration and breathing and movement. It was amazing and powerful.
So, how was your birth experience?
My first birth experience taught me so much so I called the midwives straight after calling my birth partners. They said to call back when contractions were closer together. I told them I birth quickly and they'd be better to get out sooner (the on call midwives were a good 40 minutes away).
My lovely friend arrived first and was quietly timing my surges, and taking it in turns with hubby to put pressure on my lower back. I stood leaning on a counter and swaying from side to side with the music. When the pool was filled, I clambered in and assumed the kneeling forward position. It was incredibly comfortable.
My auntie arrived and stroked my head. Suddenly everything stopped. My doula friend said 'you're transitioning, get some rest!' so I dozed gently with my head on the side of the pool.
A few minutes later, the string of downwards surges started. Two midwives and one student midwife arrived at some point as I was crowning. The head popped out and I reached down to feel his fuzzy hair drifting in the water. He gently turned himself round, then kicked himself out of my uterus like an Olympic swimmer kicking off the side of the pool!
I shouted "Don't pull! Don't pull!" and they said "we're not!" they were nowhere near me. I reached down again as he slid out, and lifted him face first from the water. I held him to me, skin to skin, and breathed him in.
Bob Marley was playing. Three little birds. The student midwife laughed and said "I hadn't even finished reading your birth plan!".
My 4 year old slumbered upstairs, completely unaware.
Learning Point: transition is when your uterine muscles shift from moving upwards (building strength at the top) to downwards (to push the baby out). Labour can feel and look very different during and after transition.
Do you remember what you said to your baby when you first met them?
With my first it was “holy shit!” with the midwives laughing, but with my second it was, "Hello baby! Look at you!" on repeat.
Looking back, what was the best part of your birth experience?
The feeling of power, intensity, self-belief. I felt deeply connected to all the mothers in the world. I held off on pain relief until I needed it, but I never needed it. I felt like a Goddess.
And on the flip side, if you could, what would you have changed about the way your baby entered the world?
With my first baby, I would have stayed at home. With my second baby, I think I would have sent a birth partner to wake my older child. He wanted to be there but it was the middle of the night. He feels sad that he missed out.
Think about it… children have been present at birth throughout history (mostly because of the communal way we lived) and it was very normal for sisters, daughters and nieces to assist and support women in their family to give birth. With preparation, many children are happy and curious to witness a birth, while others prefer not to. Hospitals do not allow children to be present at a birth, but there is no restriction on children being present during homebirth.
If you could give parents-to-be one piece of advice about preparing for the birth of their baby, what would it be?
Research! In order to advocate for yourself or your birthing partner. Take every risk-related thing medical staff say with a pinch of salt and research the hell out of it before agreeing to anything.
Your baby does NOT need to be induced because of your age, weight, baby's estimated size etc. Coercion* is rife. Arm yourself with facts and bombard them with science when they try to scare you into things.
Everything is optional: they can OFFER inductions, extra scans, examinations, sweeps etc. but you do not have to accept them. They bloody love an induction, but rarely lay out the significant risks attached. Advocate strongly.
Glossary: coercion means when someone is persuaded to do something against their will as a result of threats, exploitation, humiliation or isolation. Within the context of birth, this is often less ‘violent’ than it sounds. A threat may not be of physical violence, but is more likely to be an option being removed (eg: if you don’t see the consultant, you won’t be allowed into the birthing centre) and isolation is more likely to be the lack of a service being provided (eg: accept the epidural now as we don’t know when the anaesthetist will be here again). None of this is either acceptable or legal, though it may be presented in a kind and well-intentioned way.
