#6: Natalie & Matthew’s ideal, ‘listened to’ waterbirth story…
There can be so much pressure for ‘the perfect birth’, but as Natalie and Matthews waterbirth story proves, what matters most is that your wishes are listened to and respected by the team around you.
Trigger warnings: please note that this birth story discusses baby loss & BMI guidance.
Before we get to birth, let’s start at the beginning. How was your pregnancy?
It took a long time for me to get pregnant and we'd had a loss beforehand so a lot of fear and worry surrounding the whole thing.
I felt really sick in the first trimester but the rest was pretty good.
And, before the event, how did you feel about giving birth?
A bit of both. I had a detailed birth preferences/plan but even parts of that were written in a ‘I want to do this but if I need to do that it's fine way’ kind of style.
Then the big day arrives. How did it feel when you realised your baby was on their way earthside?
I woke up in labour and just went with it!
So, how was your birth experience?
I went into labour 2 days before my due date. I woke up in the early hours with niggling pains and then rang the hospital after an hour. They told me to take paracetamol which I did at about 4.30am.
Contractions got closer together by about 7 so I rang the hospital who said I could get checked out but they would probably send me home. I went in and got checked out about 8am and they confirmed I was in labour and 2cms dilated. I was sent home with co-codamol which I took when I got home and had some breakfast before getting in the bath.
They told me to call back when the pain got unbearable which happened about 11am. I was in tears because it hurt so bad! When I got back to the hospital they told me that I wouldn't be going home until I'd had my baby. They sat us in a triage room and checked me out, confirmed I was 5cm by then.
The co-codamol had worn off and I was starting to struggle. The midwife told me that usually by that point people would be on gas and air. I chose a water birth and after a discussion where I was told it was against their policy because of my BMI; they told me I could but they had to tell me and I had to be able to get in and out of the pool myself which I did*. I used gas and air only and when I was pushing I just breathed through.
My labour started at 3.15am and my daughter was born at 4.15pm. My birth plan was followed to the letter which made me feel listened to and supported.
I chose not to have the injection to encourage the placenta to come out* but after an hour nothing had happened so I agreed to have it and it still didn't work. Took 4 staff including a doctor to get my placenta out and it didn't come out until 6pm.
The staff were amazing, did the checks on my daughter early so that I could go home. I left at 10pm because I had no tearing or stitches.
Did you know… every hospital trust has their own guidelines on what they will recommend and advise to people during their maternity care. Policies are more formal requirements have a stronger weight with regards to what medical professionals have to do however, neither of these mean you have to do what they tell you to.
It is your human right (Article 8, Human Rights Act) to decide where and how you give birth, and you are absolutely allowed to birth ‘outside of guidelines’ if you want something specific for your birth. The best way to achieve this is with lots of independent research, understanding the benefits, risks and consequences of all options (including the recommended and not recommended ones) so that you have total faith in the decision you make. This will help you to advocate for yourself if needed.
Glossary… Once your baby is born, you will need to deliver your placenta. You can choose to wait for it to come naturally (expectant management, around an hour) or have an injection of a medicine called Ergometrine to encourage the placenta to detach (active management) which normally works within 30 mins. If this doesn’t work, midwives and obstetricians will need to help you deliver your placenta, or you may need surgery.
Do you remember what you said to your baby when you first met them?
I think I just said, “Hello!”
Looking back, what was the best part of your birth experience?
Having my birth plan stuck to*. Specifically the part where I asked that my husband told me the gender of our baby because we didn't find out beforehand.
Thinking point… birth is unpredictable and we never know what is going to happen: if your birth plan focuses heavily on things that midwives cannot control (eg: the pace of your labour, or exactly how you want your baby is born), it is more likely that they won’t be stuck to. However, if your birth plan focuses on things which midwives and doctors can control or influence (eg: how you and your partner are treated, spoken to and are included in the birth) it is more likely to be a positive resource.
And on the flip side, if you could, what would you have changed about the way your baby entered the world?
Nothing.
If you could give parents-to-be one piece of advice about preparing for the birth of their baby, what would it be?
Have an idea of what you want but be prepared for things to change on the day.
