#7: Chloe’s powerful, pride-filled, epiphany birth centre birth…
Birth is unpredictable and first time births don't always take days. As Chloe's inspiring birth story shows, trusting your own body to know what needs to happen is key to a powerful birth.
Trigger warnings: please note that this birth story discusses quick birth.
Before we get to birth, let’s start at the beginning. How was your pregnancy?
All good! I had a really smooth pregnancy and felt pretty good the whole time.
And, before the event, how did you feel about giving birth?
I liked to think I was really prepared. However nothing quite prepares you for birth as they can all be SO different. My pregnancy was really smooth and I did some aqua-natal classes, the NHS antenatal classes and a bit of breathing practise. (Top Tip: practise breathing it out when having a poo: surprisingly really useful especially with the bum barnacles [haemorrhoids']* that appeared in the latter weeks of pregnancy!)
Glossary: Haemorrhoids are swollen blood vessels that appear as lumps around the outside or inside of your bottom (rectum & anus). They are also known as piles as well as having lots of other slang names. They are very common during pregnancy due to the additional pressure and possible additional straining when going for a poo (due to pregnancy associated constipation). There are various home & medical remedies available but do make sure that you check that whatever relief you choose is pregnancy safe.
Then the big day arrives. How did it feel when you realised your baby was on their way earthside?
It came at 37+2, a mega shock after being a bridesmaid on the Saturday. On the Sunday, I had a lovely chilled day with lots of food and went to bed as normal. I woke up around 5.30 the next morning thinking that I’ve wet the bed (top tip: shower curtain under your fitted sheet from 37 weeks, I wish I had known this one!). I ran to the bathroom to look, nothing really there. so Googled “what to do when YOU THINK your waters break” as if I hadn’t already been told.
I came back into my husband to say “I think my waters have broken” for him to reply with “Well have they or not, turn the light off, I’ve got to get up for work in half an hour and want some sleep” Jee-whizz. Thanks mate.
So, how was your birth experience?
When we realised it’s probably a yes, I called the hospital who told me to come in.
Man, at this point, decides to have a shower, get a SHIRT on (yes that’s right, really ready for the post-baby photos where he looks mint and I look bedraggled at best!!) and I have a wee and feel my first tightening, eeeeek. I began to think that this could be a thing?!
We got to Treliske Hospital and I needed the world’s biggest poo so went straight to the toilet, the one that opens onto the ward. Everything and I mean everything bar the baby falls out of me. I was a bit mortified (given how close I was to other humans at this point) HOWEVER, I am over the moon because it means I probably won’t poo myself in labour.
I made a mad dash to my bed and pretend I can no longer smell anything! Eventually I was seen around 7am and I got “checked”. I remember uttering the words “ohhhh is this when they inspect me, is that now? Oh here goes”. Idiot. The midwife looks pleased, she says “you’ll be pleased to know you’re 4cm!! You can go up to the birthing suite”. I was so shocked - I’d just wet the bed and yet I’m 4cm? How on Earth?!
Anyway, we start to get ready to go and all of a sudden the pain ramps up 100 notches and I start to feel giddy; turns out I was now 7cm. We get upstairs and just before we go into the beautiful, serene and wonderful birthing suite, I threw up all across the hallway!! No one bats an eyelid and they usher us in which was a massive relief.
We head into Marazion, a lovely room with a beautiful mural of St Michael’s Mount on the wall. It was lovely except for the pain that is not very regular and somewhat bloody awful. She asks if I want gas and air which I tool. I had one puff and holy moly. I collapsed onto the bed feeling like I have not one problem in the entire world. It was like those days when you wake, realise the time and know you’ve still got four more hours of sleep left… you can relax, snuggle and drift back off - exactly that but WAY better.
Then the pain shot back up again. I was told just to keep breathing into the gas and air, so I did but I was biting on the mouthpiece at this point (it really helped). The pool finally filled up and I jumped (more like fell) in. I found my face on the edge of the bath, hands gripped over the top and being on all fours was the most comfortable place for me.
I began shouting that I want music on: what did I request? Boasty, the jiggy jiggy song with Idris Elba on it? Remember? God knows why. I think I enjoyed dancing to it in the car whilst pregnant and I thought yeaaah that’ll keep me happy! Andrew refused to let our child be born to this. So then we settled on the next quickest thing to find, The Greatest Showman soundtrack. Sounds cheesy but I loved the film. Cried so much watching it knowing I was pregnant and nearly daily in the car to A Million Dreams. It was just right.
Then, the midwife immediately said to me “you can start pushing, push if you want to”. I was shocked to say the least. I’d just arrived? What the? I was told this will take hours, hours and hours and maybe even days. What does she mean push? She checked as I arrived and I assume I must’ve been 10cm because the antenatal people told me you don’t push until you’re ten, and they will tell you when to push. I was bamboozled. I didn’t feel the need to push, nor the urge but I tried. Nothing really happened. It was so odd.
She then wanted to check his heart rate but couldn’t quite get it from the position I was in. She asked me to get out so I did. Although I wanted a water birth I just wanted to know he was safe so did as I was told. She found the heartbeat, all was fine and she asked if I wanted to get back in but by this point I was comfortable on my back. I stayed exactly where I was and the pain was getting crazy. I felt the “ring of fire” and she told me he was very nearly here: she could see the head and I just need to push. Bear in mind I’d barely pushed and I was in total shock. I felt like I couldn’t push, it just didn’t feel right.
Then I started to wait. When the contractions came my body pushed naturally with it. Perhaps this is why I felt like I hadn’t pushed? In my head it was a real Friends moment, team ‘push push push’ but it wasn’t. It was a real involuntary type push where my body naturally went and I followed. I pushed along with the contractions and began to say “I can’t do this!!” on repeat. She said to Andrew at this point “this is when the baby is coming: when she says she can’t do it any more you know it’s nearly here, be ready”.
It was odd. I’d taken on a LOT of gas (and not much air in between!) and I felt a bit out of body. I could hear her, my eyes were tightly shut, and I knew I was there and had my wits about me, but I felt like I also wasn’t there, like I was watching in on it. Then it happened. The epiphany moment. The moment when I realised that ‘shit, if I just push and actually get him out, then that pain, that fire, will just go’.
And low and behold, a couple of big breathy pushes later he was here. Our beautiful boy, Jenson George Hurley Smith. Absolutely magical and phenomenal.
The pride I felt in myself for doing it was like nothing I’d ever experienced before! After I took the injection for the after birth, it’s the oddest feeling. They tell you not to push them the midwife mechanically pushes your tummy and then out comes the placenta (a few pushes at the very end I think).
Honestly, I was as mesmerised by my placenta as much as my baby! How have I created this, which has built and fed my baby for 9 months? Absolutely incredible stuff.
We changed the playlist and had some lovely music on; I used the gas and air whilst the midwife stitched me up and Andrew told me my Mum was on her way. And I cried. I cried so so much. The happiest tears I’ve ever cried because I couldn’t wait to see her and show her what I’d done. I’ve made and birthed a beautiful baby boy. I’d done it. I knew she would be so very proud of me too.
Think about it… your placenta is your property! It’s the only organ we have that is disposable and we grow a new one for every pregnancy we carry. When your placenta is born you can choose to keep it (to use in one of the many ways humans have used their placentas for years), have a look at it (your midwife can explain it to you) or totally ignore it.
Do you remember what you said to your baby when you first met them?
Not really, I think it was just a lot of “hello, hi baby! Hello Jenson!” Which felt really odd.
I do remember the midwife saying “Here’s your Mummy, Jenson” and it was a really odd feeling. How, in a matter of minutes did I just become someone’s mummy?
Mind-blowing.
Looking back, what was the best part of your birth experience?
The feeling of pride in myself. I listened to my own body and worked on my terms. Even though I was being told “you can push now” etc I just had this feeling that I wasn’t ready. Then I went with what felt right.
I’m so glad I did because it’s like my body knew. It just knew how to do this! And for that I am forever perplexed. I know where born to do it (thanks Craig David), but we really are. And you can’t fight it! As much as the pain barriers in you try, you can’t. You will do it, you can achieve it, and the pride you’ll have in yourself is enough to keep you going through those sleepless nights, for sure!
Learning Point: the contractions we feel are our muscles squeezing. In the second stage of labour (pushing) the muscles of our uterus squeeze in a downwards direction to move our babies through the cervix, into the birth canal and out into the world. These muscles do 80% of the work & any pushing we do tops it up.
And on the flip side, if you could, what would you have changed about the way your baby entered the world?
Shower curtain under the bedsheet at home to save the mattress. Bar that? Nothing at all.
It was madness and magic is equal measure and I thoroughly loved it.
If you could give parents-to-be one piece of advice about preparing for the birth of their baby, what would it be?
Relax. Listen to your body. Push when it feels right WITH the contractions and be ready with that darned playlist! 😃
Oh, and DO NOT let your other half look incredible in the photos…
