#15: Jodie’s magical homebirth story…
There are a lot of preconceived ideas about what birth should or shouldn’t, will or won’t be: Jodie’s beautiful birth story shows that what really matters is you. And with a bit of independent research and decision-making that’s focused on you, birth can be nothing short of magical. Wherever you decide to do it.
Trigger warnings: please note that this birth story discusses intense sickness and tearing.
Before we get to birth, let’s start at the beginning. How was your pregnancy?
My pregnancy was nothing short of horrific.
I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum* at my 8 week midwife appointment - I was sat on the floor waiting for a midwife to come and take me in and I physically couldn’t stand up with nausea. I had barely eaten for 2 weeks, kept sips of water down and genuinely just thought I had bad morning sickness and I was being weak (because how are you supposed to know what’s ‘normal’ in pregnancy when you’ve never been through it).
The midwife was horrified at how awful I looked and I was instantly started on nausea medication, but because I was so poorly it took 3 weeks to start taking affect. I’d lost nearly 3kg by that point (starting at a mere 50kg this was concerning), and ended up losing a total of 5kg throughout my whole pregnancy.
So to cut a long story short, I vomited daily, was medicated until around 30-32ish weeks, and narrowly escaped hospital stays twice. I absolutely HATED pregnancy.
Glossary: Hyperemesis Gravidarum* is a very severe form of morning sickness and goes far beyond what is considered to be ‘normal’ sickness during pregnancy. It is now known to be caused by a specific hormone called GDF15, and is not caused by anything an individual does, or does not do. It can be incredibly debilitating and medically serious; anti-nausea treatment can be provided by your midwife.
And, before the event, how did you feel about giving birth?
Initially I listened to all of the ‘baby will make their own plans’ and ‘you can’t control it so why bother worrying’ advice I got from both men and woman at work, in the street, in my family - until I spoke to a good friend who was pregnant at the same time as me but with her second baby.
She had a home birth with her first and was planning the same for her second. She talked to me all about the homebirth team of midwives and gave me some books to read - some hypnobirthing and some positive birthing stories. I suddenly began to really enjoy learning all about birth, labour and everything around the subject.
Dr Sara Wickham’s books became my absolute go to - and the more I learnt the more I wanted to learn. I changed from community midwives to the home birth team and started to get excited about the prospect of being the master of my own destiny and bringing my baby into the world.
Think about it: Where have you got your birth knowledge from? Friends, family and colleagues are our primary source of information, as is the NHS. However, there are a whole host of birth researchers (midwifes by trade, PhD by qualification) who provide independent, highly-regarded and less policy and experience driven information.
The following are excellent independent sources of information on pregnancy, birth and postnatal matters: Dr Sara Wickham, Penny Simkin, Ina May Gaskin and Dr Rachel Reed.
Then the big day arrives. How did it feel when you realised your baby was on their way earthside?
I went into very early labour on the Wednesday evening while friends were over for dinner nearly 5 days before my due date. I ignored the tightenings for a while but had a shower to calm myself, presuming it was Braxton Hicks as I was so early and fully expected to go to 42 weeks!
Everything dissipated after a night of tightenings, and the Thursday was spend relaxing, watching movies and presuming nothing was going to happen.
At around midnight on Thursday I was convinced things were happening I got nervous but excited and spoke to my midwives. They came and checked me over - told me to chill my beans because I was miles from active labour and just try and get some rest… but who can rest when your new baby is imminent!!!
So, how was your birth experience?
So early hours of Friday morning we called the midwives again because we were sure this time I was in active labour - I’d been using my TENS machine all night, unable to sit down or lay down and only finding comfort on my yoga ball or pacing the house.
They checked me and I was around 2-3cm dilated, so I was told to keep resting and call back when my contractions were closer together. I continued to pace the house, cuddle my dogs and watch ‘Married at First Sight UK’ with my fiancé. As we were planning a home water birth my fiancé got to work putting up the pool in the front room, and setting it up into a relaxing area, fire lit, galaxy light glowing and relaxing music.
At around 9am things were really starting to ramp up, my midwife was over an hour away so she started to make her way over - she gave me a vaginal examination at my request but I was 3-4cm dilated and she said if I was to get in the pool at this point I risked slowing down an already quite steady labour. We agreed to just keep pushing through and she would come back later. I continued with my TENS machine which was utter bliss, lots of pacing and my only comfortable position at this point was sitting backwards on the toilet.
I was very uncomfortable and getting very tired but kept powering through, lots of hypnobirth breathing and positive affirmations. My fiancé was getting me through! At around 4pm Clare my amazing midwife came back and without a VE knew I was fully in active labour and told me I should get on the pool, this was music to my ears and I stripped off quicker than she could finish the sentence and the relief of being weightless in the pool was utter bliss!
I laboured in the pool from then until around 8.30pm when my body started involuntarily pushing. I don’t remember a real transition period, but I do remember feeling completely out of body and my body just taking over. My wonderful fiancé by my side and the incredible homebirth midwives at a respectful distance I continued to push.
It took me 2.5hrs to push my daughter out, but in hindsight I was getting very tired after labouring for so long. The midwives in the final 30minute (or so) monitored my baby between every contraction and she was doing fine so they allowed me to continue - none of this was actually discussed to me at the time so as not to interfere with my hypnobirthing, had there been as issue they would have discussed it with me.
And after the quickest 2.5hrs of my life in one very large push (because I could hear titterings of if this baby isn’t here soon we will transfer her to hospital) my daughter was born. She was pushed between my legs and I was the person to bring her out of the water, and find out her sex!!
It was the most magical and wonderful moment of my life! I was allowed an hour of skin to skin uninterrupted with no hat put on her. Breastfed within minutes of her being born, and it was wonderful.
I asked for a physiological third stage and delayed cord clamping and I got both. I got out the pool to birth my placenta and had a wonderful time on the sofa with my daughter while I birthed it. I barely remember that part as I was so swept up with happiness.
I wrote a birth plan with the help of ‘The Positive Birth Company’ who offer a template and my midwives read and honoured everything in the plan! I had no pain relief, just the TENS machine and the pool and that was perfect for me.
I had a possible third degree tear* so I did transfer to hospital to be checked and sutured and it was thankfully only a second degree. Transferring to hospital didn’t affect my magical birth as the midwife who cared for me there was just as wonderful as my home birth midwives. We only stayed in hospital for around 8 hours and we were home at sunrise.
Learning point: tearing* is very common during childbirth - around 80% of people will experience some form of graze or tear to their labia, vagina, perineum or any other body part in that area. There are degrees of seriousness: grazes rarely need medical attention, first and second degree tears involve upper layers of skin and can be attended to by a midwife; third and fourth degree tears involve muscle tissue so require a doctor’s attention.
Do you remember what you said to your baby when you first met them?
I just kept repeating OMG I have a baby OMG I have a little girl. I was in total and utter shock.
Looking back, what was the best part of your birth experience?
Birthing her in the pool in my front room and being the first to touch her, hold her and find out her gender.
And on the flip side, if you could, what would you have changed about the way your baby entered the world?
The only thing I would do differently would be to not be stuck in my head the whole time worrying when I’ll need to push, go with the flow and be more relaxed.
If you could give parents-to-be one piece of advice about preparing for the birth of their baby, what would it be?
Read read read!!! Find out the statistics, do not let the hospital coerce you into unnecessary interventions. Know your rights, know what you want and don’t let people scare you into going into labour blind just because ‘the baby will do what they want’.
I was so lucky my birth plan went to plan, but I also knew what level of intervention I was happy to receive and what I’d turn down.
