#2: Laura & Sam’s speedy & unassisted homebirth…
A surprise speedy unassisted homebirth doesn’t have to mean panic: as Laura and Sam’s beautiful retelling of their son’s birth proves, with the right mindset and support it can feel as confident and controlled as anywhere else.
Trigger warnings: please note that this birth story discusses quick labour, paramedics, birth without the presence of midwives and damage to a new carpet.
Before we get to birth, let’s start at the beginning. How was your pregnancy?
My second pregnancy with my son Ted was pretty straightforward. I've been pretty lucky with both my pregnancies and not had any complications.
I was infinitely more tired this time around and having an 18 month old to look too after made me appreciate all the lovely sitting down and relaxing I could do the first time around.
And, before the event, how did you feel about giving birth?
With my first pregnancy I did all the preparation - read loads of books, did the maternity unit tour, NCT classes, pregnancy yoga etc.
The second time around I was more relaxed but I still dipped back into the books from the first time around and took pregnancy pilates classes.
I felt like I wanted to know about everything so I could be prepared for all the different eventualities.
Then the big day arrives. How did it feel when you realised your baby was on their way earthside?
My labour was only 3.5 hours long with Ted and I spent the first hour thinking it was false labour*!
I'd gone to bed early and when my husband came in and heard me doing breathing exercises to get through the pain he had to gently break it to me that I probably was in actual real labour…
Did you know… false labour (aka Braxton-Hicks) are the uterus’ way of warming up and practising for labour. The key difference between them and ‘true’ labour is their frequency and sensation: if the tightenings are wave-like, increasingly regular (eg: every 10 mins) and are getting gradually stronger, then it’s true labour. If it’s erratic and the feeling doesn’t come as a wave, it’s more likely to be a Braxton-Hicks.
So, how was your birth experience?
After realising I probably was in labour at about midnight, we phoned my parents so they could come over and look after our daughter.
They shot over here very speedily and we gave them our bedroom so they could get some sleep and I set up a little camp in the living room, thinking we had a few hours of pacing before very much happened. My first labour had been around 9 hours. I had my birthing ball and playlist, it was all very chilled.
We had planned to go to Penrice, the local midwife-led birth unit*, as that was where I had had my daughter Daisy, but it was at a time when it wasn't staffed 24 hours. After not very long, contractions seemed to be getting closer quite quickly so Sam called the on-call midwife and she said she'd be able to meet us at Penrice within 1.5 hours.
After about 10 minutes I felt like we were going to need to be there sooner than that as contractions were coming really quickly so we phoned Treliske (the main hospital) and told them we were heading to them. They didn't have space on the midwife birthing suite so we would have had to go on the labour ward which I didn't really want to do.
We were just getting ready to go and Sam called the Penrice midwife to let her know not to worry about driving to the hospital when I felt the definite need to push.
It's so obvious what it is and I had felt this feeling in the car on the way to Penrice last time, so knew things were getting close. The midwife on the phone heard this was happening and told Sam to call an ambulance.
He dialled 999 and told the operator his wife was in labour and could they talk him through what to do. He was unbelievably calm and I felt completely in control with him.
My Mum and Dad were freaking out about towels and water, but we were very relaxed! I was on all fours in the living room and Ted pretty much birthed himself. It felt like two pushes and I can really clearly remember Sam telling the 999 person 'I can see the head'. Apparently the main advice he was given was to make sure he caught the baby as they can be slippery!
Luckily he did catch him, and wrapped him in a towel and handed him straight over to me. After about 5 minutes the ambulance arrived, but by this point Ted was snuggled up to me and happily feeding away.
The crew were really sweet and kind, checked us over and then just waited for a midwife to arrive who did all the checks and helped me with the after birth. They stayed for the weigh in too (9lbs 6 oz) as they thought he looked a decent size :-)
I had never considered a home birth but I definitely wish I had now. After the midwife had stitched me up, I had a shower in my own bathroom and was back in my own bed by 5am, and my daughter slept through the entire thing! When she woke up in the morning she came in to see us and her new baby brother which was so lovely.
Glossary… a midwife-led unit is a birth space in a medical facility where doctors don’t work. They’re typically called birth centres and can sit on the fence as a space between home and hospital environments. They are a great option for low-risk birthers who are happy with fewer options for pain relief & a possible transfer if complications arise.
Do you remember what you said to your baby when you first met them?
No I don't. Is that really bad?! Hopefully it was something nice!
Looking back, what was the best part of your birth experience?
Isn't giving my husband an absolutely blinding story that he tells at all opportunities and somehow comes out of better than I do!!
Birth is such an insane and magical experience and going through it with someone I trust so completely was amazing. I already knew this but we really could get through anything together after that!
And on the flip side, if you could, what would you have changed about the way your baby entered the world?
I probably should have learnt from my first relatively quick birth and opted for a home birth in the first place. I would have been more prepared and done less damage to the carpet!
Think about it… knowing ‘when to go’ is a big cause of worry for so many people. Getting the balance between staying at home long enough to labour effectively, and travelling to your birth space can be really tricky. If you are really worried about getting it right, perhaps a homebirth is a good option for you? Or if this isn’t medically recommended, speak to your midwife about options to ease your anxiety.
If you could give parents-to-be one piece of advice about preparing for the birth of their baby, what would it be?
Everyone is different so everyone's birth will be different. For me, I found a lot of the things I learnt on pregnancy yoga to be really helpful.
Contractions are flipping painful, there's no getting around that. I found the idea of trying to welcome each contraction as bringing me one step closer to meeting my baby, to be helpful.
