#4: Emma’s intimate & exciting birth centre birth...
Birth doesn’t always go to plan, but as Emma’s gorgeously calm birth story shows, episiotomies and emergency cords can still be managed calmly.
Trigger warnings: please note that this birth story discusses shoulder dystocia, baby’s heart-rate dipping & episiotomy.
Before we get to birth, let’s start at the beginning. How was your pregnancy?
I was really lucky to have a relatively easy pregnancy!
I had minimal morning sickness at the start and some back ache in my last few weeks but otherwise I felt good the whole way through. I was even still driving and out seeing friends right up until the day before my labour started.
And, before the event, how did you feel about giving birth?
I'm a primary teacher so have always liked to have all the information I can get my hands on to be as prepared as possible.
My husband and I did a midwife-led antenatal course which was so informative, and we also did the digital hypnobirthing course from The Positive Birth Company. We both decided that although things wouldn't necessarily got to 'plan' and we would be flexible to go with the flow, ideally we wanted my birth to be as natural as possible.
My preferences were a water birth with minimal pain relief and no intervention* unless medically necessary.
Glossary: interventions are any procedure or action - holistic or otherwise - that interferes with undisturbed labour and birth. Commonly, we say interventions to refer to medical ones used by midwives or doctors to help you to deliver your baby. These include stretch & sweeps, inductions, episiotomy, forceps, ventouse and caesarean section.
Then the big day arrives. How did it feel when you realised your baby was on their way earthside?
My waters broke while I was in bed at about 6am. I felt a gentle popping sensation, a bit like the early baby kicks, and managed to make it to the toilet before they started coming.
We had a very excited celebration and I called my mum and we had a happy cry on the phone to each other. More than anything, I was just so excited to know if be meeting my baby soon!
So, how was your birth experience?
I woke up around 4:30am with a general feeling of restlessness, I lay in bed but couldn't get back to sleep. Around 6am I felt what I can only describe as a gentle popping sensation very low in my pelvis, similar to the first baby kicks I'd felt, I reached down and felt my knickers were wet so got up and rushed to the toilet just in time for a large stream of water to come out.
It was a surreal feeling; physically similar to having a wee but completely out of my control. The stream stopped and I went to stand up but another small stream started. At this point I called to my husband that I thought my waters had gone and we had a little excited giggle at the thought that baby could be here soon.
I'm not sure exactly what his decision making process was - perhaps an adrenaline rush or just too much nervous energy, but my husband decided that this was the perfect time to finish the painting that we were doing as part of renovating our annex for our next Airbnb guests!
Having spoken to others, I knew calling the hospital they'd ask me to wait and see if more fluid came out after an hour before going in to be assessed so I put some TV on and sat snuggled with our puppy waiting to see if more would come. It continued to come in a steady trickle and I started to get a period crampy feeling in my abdomen and back, so I called the hospital and was asked to go in so they could test and confirm it was my waters. They weren't in a rush for me to go in as I knew the time I thought they'd broken, which was great as it gave us time to sort out taking our dog to my brother and sister-in-law and meant I could tidy up some bits at home I knew I wouldn't want to do with a new baby!
At around 9am, still at home, I began timing what I was certain were contractions lasting between 30 - 50 seconds with between 1.5 - 3 minutes rest and starting to use some hypnobirthing breathing techniques to get me through the stronger ones. We got in the car and drove to drop off our dog. Whilst in the car, with each contraction I could feel more water being forced out and luckily I'd put a towel on the seat as the 45 minute journey was enough that my leggings and top were drenched by the time we arrived! I nipped in and changed my underwear and leggings before getting back in the car to go to the day assessment unit.
On arrival, at around 11am, the midwife asked my account of what had happened and the time at which I thought my waters had gone. I had an internal swab which definitively confirmed my waters had broken. We were told to go and labour at home and call again when things had ramped up so we went to my parents house just 20 minutes away, rather than the 45 minutes home. By the time we got there I felt like I needed some pain relief in addition to the breathing so my husband helped me put on my TENS machine and we had some lunch.
I laboured until around 3pm just walking around the garden, kneeling over the arm of the sofa and leaning on my parents hot tub (surprisingly the perfect height for the position my body naturally wanted to be in!) My contractions were now coming every minute and lasting a minute so we went back to be examined and was told I'd reached 2cm with a very stretchy cervix the midwife could stretch to 4cm. Again we were advised to go home and come back later. Back we went to my parents where I began labouring with my husband, hanging from around his neck with each contraction and still using breathing and my TENS machine.
We continued like this for a couple of hours, at which point we started to think about some dinner. My husband walked to the local shop to buy a pizza so I continued labouring with my dad, using him as a support just as I had with my husband. By this point my contractions were lasting 1 minute 30 with only 45 seconds to a minute in between so we decided to go back in to the hospital. I persevered until our food was cooked so we could take it with us and by this point I was definitely feeling the need for some extra pain relief. We arrived at the hospital around 6.30pm where we were taken into a labour room and booked in by the midwife after another examination confirmed I was 5cm. I asked to use the midwife-led unit which luckily was available so we walked round straight away. I was then able to have some entonox (gas and air) which was a real relief and in combination with breathing techniques and the birthing pool was enough to get me through the rest of my labour and birth.
The midwives ran the pool and turned on the dim mood lighting while I continued to labour with my husband and I got in as soon as it was ready. It felt amazing to be in the water and for around 5 minutes my contractions slowed as I relaxed, however they quickly ramped back up again. My husband put on a playlist of music we'd chosen for labour and we had some lovely calm moments between contractions just holding each other and singing along to some of our favourite songs.
At around 8.30pm the midwives changed shifts and we were handed over to the midwife and student who would be the ones to deliver our baby. As it turned out, both my husband and I knew our midwife already which was so lovely and reassuring to know we were in safe hands. By 10pm I began feeling a bit pushy. After a final examination I had reached 8cm and was advised to continue breathing through the contractions and not start pushing just yet. By 11pm I couldn't stop my body pushing and began bearing down on my knees with each contraction. My waters had continued to come whilst I was in the pool making the water very cloudy and meaning the midwives couldn't see baby's head, so they asked me to reach down and see if I could feel baby's head in the birth canal which I could. I could feel his hair and when my next contraction came I felt him move further down and back up inside! By midnight I could feel his head beginning to crown.
I tried to remain calm as my husband continued to remind me of using my breathing to help him out. Unfortunately, his shoulder had become slightly stuck in my pelvis and I was finding it very difficult to push it around the corner and get his head fully out which meant I was anticipating and experiencing the pain of crowning with every following contraction. Afterwards, the student midwife told me she could see his eyebrows with each push I gave but I just couldn't get him any further.
At this point I was very tired and baby was beginning to get distressed with his heart rate beginning to drop with each contraction. I was told I had two more contractions to try and get his head out or I would need to get out of the pool.
Out of the pool we got, which was very tricky as the top of his head was out and sitting between legs!
I was supported out and onto the bed where I tried one more push but was unsuccessful. The midwife asked my husband to pull the emergency cord so there would be a team in place in case baby needed any help. I have no recollection of anyone else entering the room until I looked up and saw another midwife (who I also know very well) right in front of me. I was told I needed to turn over and would need an episiotomy as baby was now in quite a lot of distress.
Unfortunately, his heart rate was dipping so low there was no time for me to be given local anaesthetic so I felt the cut which was the worst pain I've ever felt but was over in a second. The episiotomy meant he could be delivered almost instantly and in the end the episiotomy, delivery of his head and body all happened in the same minute and I felt instant relief!
As soon as he was delivered I was no longer in pain and accepted the injection to deliver the placenta. We had skin-to-skin for about half an hour until we got to a postnatal room where I was stitched whilst my husband had skin-to-skin. It was then that my husband produced the previously cooked pizza which turned out to be the BEST post-birth snack!
We were then moved to a shared postnatal ward where he latched for the first time and we snuggled skin to skin almost the whole rest of the night and following day. We had to stay an extra night as he'd had low blood sugar at birth but in the end it was for the best as it meant I got some help with making sure his latch was deep enough and my husband got some sleep at home.
With the exception of the final 5 minutes or so, I loved every second of my labour and birth. I still can't quite believe my body naturally knew what to do so well and I've never felt closer to my husband than whilst we laboured together.
Did you know… birth centres are used for low risk pregnancies and births, but birth is birth and there’s no guarantee something won’t go a bit awry. In these situations, a pull cord alerts other medical staff to the issue and your room will fill with medical expertise within less than a minute. The type of support you’ll receive will differ depending on whether your birth centre is attached to / within a hospital, or is independent.
Do you remember what you said to your baby when you first met them?
I remember looking at him and saying, 'Hi baby, I'm your mummy!' and then over and over to my husband, 'He's here, he's really here!'
Looking back, what was the best part of your birth experience?
The support and care we had from all the staff who looked after us, and the closeness and intimacy I felt with my husband as we laboured together.
Think about it… different people value different types of support. While some value their own space, others want to have reassurance continuously. Considering this before hand, and communicating it with your midwife or doctor (either verbally or through a birth plan) will help you to feel looked after and cared for.
And on the flip side, if you could, what would you have changed about the way your baby entered the world?
Not a thing. My son was born safely and my recovery was quick.
I am currently pregnant with our second child and hope my birth this time will be just as positive as my first
If you could give parents-to-be one piece of advice about preparing for the birth of their baby, what would it be?
Be aware of all the things that could happen, then trust your body to do what it's designed to do and trust the staff to keep you and baby safe.
