#22: An anonymous personal, long-awaited & surreal planned caesarean birth…
Trigger warnings: please note that this birth story discusses mental health.
Before we get to birth, let’s start at the beginning. How was your pregnancy?
I actually really struggled with my pregnancy. I had prenatal depression*, which was quite severe. In all honesty, I was really scared for when the baby arrived due to how low I’d been feeling. I felt embarrassed to even admit this.
Glossary: prenatal depression is a depressive episode that happens before you give birth, while you are still pregnant. There are some factors that can increase the chance of someone experiencing this, and midwives do keep an eye out. However, if you feel like this is happening to you, talking to your midwife will help you to get the support you need.
And, before the event, how did you feel about giving birth?
I was terrified. I had such bad anxiety about EVERYTHING, let alone giving an entire human being life.
Then the big day arrives. How did it feel when you realised your baby was on their way earthside?
I had a planned C-section.
The night before I couldn’t sleep… the more I worried about needing sleep, the less I slept. I arrived at the hospital with a whole load of Netflix downloaded to take my mind off things.. however I just slept, and got woken up by being told it was time to deliver my baby (terrifying way to wake up haha!)
So, how was your birth experience?
The team was SO lovely; I was really surprised.
Everyone introduced themselves to me, walked me through exactly what was going to happen, asked if I had any questions, etc. I got to put my own playlist on. I still remember the song my baby was brought into the world too.
I felt quite unwell with the first lot of injections, started getting dizzy and hot, which made me panic. The team was so good, they cooled me down and really calmed me down. I felt better quickly. They would constantly check-in on how I was feeling. I spoke to the team the entire time, which relaxed me a lot, and it felt really casual and informal rather than feeling like I was going through a serious medical procedure.
Whilst chatting about baby clothes, suddenly I heard a baby cry. My baby was here.
He was lifted up to me. I couldn’t stop crying (I’m almost crying thinking about it again haha!). He was placed onto me, and my entire body which was numb just tingled and felt warm. It’s like I knew him forever. It was truly magical. The team took lots of photos for me.
A few moments later, he did need to get placed on a resus machine*. The team told me everything that was happening and calmed me down. After that happened, I had him back with me whilst they finished the procedure. I had to stay in a few days due to being on meds. They would come and check on me regularly. Being in for a few days was something I was really nervous about, however I actually found it really beneficial as I could ask whatever I needed and had help nearby at all times. All of the staff involved in my care was incredible.
A resus machine (resuscitaire) is a mobile piece of equipment to support babies to transition into life earthside. It has facilities to give extra warmth, additional warmth and the ability to closely monitor baby’s vital signs whilst medical support is being given.
Do you remember what you said to your baby when you first met them?
‘I feel like I’ve known him forever’
Looking back, what was the best part of your birth experience?
FINALLY meeting him.
(Plus not being pregnant anymore, hahaha)
And on the flip side, if you could, what would you have changed about the way your baby entered the world?
I would have had my mum as my birth partner.
Thinking point: a birth partner needs to be able to keep you calm, grounded and supported through a really intense time. While a romantic partner or co-parent might be the ‘normal’ choice, you need to make sure that whoever you choose is able to give you what you need at that time.
If you could give parents-to-be one piece of advice about preparing for the birth of their baby, what would it be?
Choose your birth partner wisely. My birth partner actually created more of a struggle rather than support. You don’t need to choose someone because you feel you owe it to them.
